ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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