don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
