So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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