I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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