Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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