Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
