I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize