My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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