"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
