At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
