This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
