I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
