Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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