apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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