She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
barbara walters just said penis...
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
