theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
