You're so nebulous sometimes
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
