My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
