Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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