Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
