Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
