I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
