eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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