Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
