I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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