Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
