is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so that wasnt chicken after all
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
