you would pick up someone in the library
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
