She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
