What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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