it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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