Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I wish i was in the wii world.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
