Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Dick very happy bro
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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