dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
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