your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
