Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
