First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
