I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
