The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize