Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
