So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
