Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you didnt know i had herpes?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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