is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
