We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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