You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
