I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize