Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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