You're completely useless in the revolution.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
well, you know. whores of a feather.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
