did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
you never un-have a 4some
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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