my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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