so let's talk penis.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
