you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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