She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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