my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
